EPIC FAIL OF THE YEAR

I need to record this for posterity, and so I can remember just how bad this was.

The BBC announcer said that if Canada had lost, it would've been "Brokeback Mountain 2" because it would've broken the backs of the people in the surrounding mountains of Vancouver.

THAT statement, is the EPIC FAIL OF THE YEAR.

On another note, congratulations to Canada for owning the gold medal in their Olympics and capping it off with an incredible win in an AMAZING hockey game.

Happenings of this week

Well, I don't know that I can contribute much after my Charley Boorman post, but I'll try to update you all on everything else going on.

1.) I'm sick. Yuck. We had a head cold thing going around the Elon kids, but it seems I got the worst version of it, complete with chest congestion and impacted sinuses. Fabulous. But, while I can't breathe out of my nose, and every time I laugh I go into a coughing fit, I don't feel bad, so I've been going about my normal activities with a bottle of hand sanitizer near by. I have been sleeping more, so hopefully that, and drinking water / tea all week and with my powerful cocktail of my vitamin regimen and Sudafed decongestant, hopefully I'll kick this thing in the pants sometime this week.

2.) I finally did my laundry. It's an absolute PITA to do it because 1.) it's expensive (£2 for wash, and £1 to dry although it usually takes 2-3 cycles in the dryer to get my clothes dry, so make that about £4-5 per load), and 2.) to get to the laundry room, I have to go up two flights of stairs, walk to the other end of the building, then walk down three flights of stairs. That gets to be a pain after a while, especially when you're trying to time your laundry. I now appreciate the luxury of having a washer and dryer within 10 steps of my door, something I once took for granted.

3.) It has been a sports week. Between watching the Olympics and the Six Nations rugby tournament on BBC iPlayer, its just been a week full of sports. Although as far as the Olympics go, I haven't seen much besides the curling because when it's 11:00PM here, it's 3:00PM in Vancouver and all the exciting sports aren't on for another 5 hours. Fortunately, the Canada v. USA hockey game is playing at 8:15PM tonight, so I'll actually get to watch it. Does anyone else think the Norweigan curlers have funny-looking pants? Also IRELAND BEAT ENGLAND IN RUGBY!!!!! Scotland sadly lost to Italy, BUT IRELAND BEAT ENGLAND. I was able to watch the first half of the match, and there were a couple brilliant plays. Did I mention I'm starting to understand rugby / am becoming a rugby fan?

4.) I've now seen Invictus three times. One more time and it ties My Big Fat Greek Wedding for movie I've seen most times in the theatre. Some people from Elon wanted to see it when it came out at our theatre this week, and so I gladly volunteered to go with them! Understanding the game a little better from watching Six Nations just made it even better and I picked up on things I hadn't seen before.

5.) Our movie theatre is awesome! Every Wednesday night at 11:00PM, they show a "throwback" movie, as in an older movie, and sometimes it's a VERY old movie. We saw Top Gun two weeks ago, and Merrill and I saw a 1920s silent film called "The General" that I thought was going to be a 1998 Irish comedy. Definitely wrong on that one. We couldn't help but laugh once we figure out just how wrong I was. This viewing experience is also where the now-frequently used phrase "So damn cultured." originated. Apologies to anyone who takes offense to that, but clearly, there's no other way to describe sitting through a 2-hour silent film. About a train. In the Civil War. Yeah. Going to these movies gives me an excuse to add my own commentary to the films, which is something I really enjoy because apparently people around me think my commentary is hilarious. Fortunately, this week, they're playing Superbad and next week (and we're insanely excited about this), they're playing MRS. DOUBTFIRE. So there will be plenty of "HELLOOOOOO"s on that night.

6.) I FINALLY GOT MY CARE PACKAGE. After the Queen excised a VAT tax and then my building withheld the package without my knowledge, I finally got my package! Now I can FINALLY get to swim club practice, which I'm really excited for!!!

7.) Sandy and I are going to London next weekend using our rail passes and intend to do every free thing possible. This includes: The British Museum, the outside of Buckingham Palace and hopefully the Changing of the Guard as an IRA bombing in the West End prevented me from seeing this 9 years ago, the Tower Bridge, the Houses of Parliament, Hyde Park (Peter Pan Statue, the Princess Diana Memorial Fountain, and the bench Johnny Depp sat on in Finding Neverland), Millennium Bridge, the Platform 9 3/4 (another Harry Potter site, when did I become a Potter-head?), Picadilly Circus, Notting Hill (and the house with the blue door that is no longer blue), the Thames Footpath, Regent's Park, Trafalgar Square, Harrod's, No. 10 Downing Street, and various other places. We'll have to pay for some things, i.e. a night flight on the London Eye and getting into Westminster Abbey, but those are worth it. Don't worry MomEl, I'll be sure to take plenty of pictures of BIG BEN!!!!!!

8.) My classes are fantastic! The format is definitely different, and there's a lot more personal responsibility, but I really enjoy the challenge involved with that! I'm taking "Peace Processes and Violence" which may be one of the best classes I've ever taken and "Political Culture of Post-War Europe" which feels more like a psych class than a history class, but it's really interesting and our professor is very engaging.

9.) And also on the travel front, Sandy and I are making headway on our Spring Break trip to Spain and day-trip to Morocco. We'll be going to Madrid, Cordoba, Seville (for the biggest Holy Week celebration in Spain), Tarifa and Tangiers in Morocco for a day, Granda (and al-Hambra), Barcelona, and Girona (American cycling capital of Europe). Transport is a little trickier in Spain that in the UK, so it looks like to get from point to point in Spain we'll be using trains, buses, ferries, taxis, planes, and public transport. I'm trying to rent a bike for a day in Granada as well, so this is looking more and more like a trip planned by Charley Boorman. I'm really excited to be going to Spain. It never really occurred to me to go there, and I literally decided to go because Sandy's original travel partner bugged out of St. Andrews after three days and she was really upset that it looked like she couldn't go. So I told her I would go as long as we went to Girona for a day. Turns out we're staying overnight because it's closer to the airport than Barcelona proper! So, my dream to go to the former HQ of Postal, and the current HQ of Team Garmin-Slipstream (Lance may still have a place here, not sure), is going to come true! I'm so excited! And the more we've been talking about it and planning it, the more excited I'm getting to go to a place I haven't been before. Still looking at going to Ireland with Merrill during Revision Week, so to all you folks who worry that I won't make my U2 pilgrimage, don't worry. It will happen. No doubt about that. For those of you who are curious to see what some of these places in Spain look like, I found this guy's website years ago and just recently found it again, but he's got some incredible pictures of the places I'll be going. Click this link, scroll to the bottom of the page, and click the links to "Madrid", "Anadulcia", and "Barcelona" and you can get a feel for where I'll be going.

Well I need to go the library and study so I can watch the hockey game tonight! We haven't won a gold in Men's Hockey in 30 years ... I think it's time to believe in Miracles again.

"This is our lives."

Hello to you all! Sandy and I made a day trip to Glasgow yesterday to attend Charley Boorman Live, and, as I put in my Facebook status, I'm not certain if you'll believe me when I tell you all what happened yesterday. So I'm going to preface this by saying all of what follows below is complete fact, not fiction, and just know that as Sandy says, "This would happen to us."

We left St. Andrews yesterday around 12:40PM, taking the bus from St. Andrews to the Leuchars rail station. Sandy and I both have BritRail passes making train travel extremely easy for us both. Basically, a BritRail pass is something you purchase while still in the States and it allows you to effectively jump on and off the train for a certain number of days in a 60 day period. You can get go as low as 2 days and I believe as high as 15 days. Sandy and I were nervous using it the first time, but we showed our ticket to Alisdair, the train man, and he waved us on. We took the express train from Leuchars directly to Haymarket which is near Edinburgh and then transferred trains to a train headed for Glasgow. Getting off at Queen Street Station we were literally right in the middle of the city. We walked out onto St. George's Sqaure, which is where city hall is located.

Sandy in the Glasgow train station.

Glasgow city hall.

We walked all over the central part of town ... IN THE SNOW. It was snowing / sleeting / raining / at times hailing while we were in Glasgow, but that didn't stop us. We're two intrepid travelers; weather is the last thing to stop us (well, I take that back. A tornado would stop me. But little else.) Glasgow has a lot of high end shopping around St. George Square, so Sandy and I went through a bunch of different stores. We stopped in Urban Outfitters and ended up trying on a pretty cool looking hat.

Sandy with said hat. She think it looked better on me ....

I disagree. I think it looks better on this guy ...

Yes ... I tried on a hat because it looked like a hat Bono wore in the 80s.

Anyway, we also found Nelson Mandela Square and I had to get my picture made with a street named after Madiba!

After walking around for a bit and grabbing at bite to eat at Subway, we walked to the Pavilion Theatre where the Charley Boorman show was happening. We got there about an hour before the show started. I had reserved tickets for us back when I was still in the States and the theatre was kind enough to hold the tickets for us until we arrived. When I was at the ticket window, I gave them my surname and said I had two tickets reserved for tonight and the girl said, "Did you reserve them from America?", "Yes ..." Picked up the tickets and then we moved to another side of the atrium so I could put my wallet back in my backpack and get myself a little organized. As I was replacing the contents of my back, I hear Sandy say, "Catie ... Catie ... Catie ... CATIE!" I looked at her and said, "WHAT?!?!?!" And she said, "Turn around RIGHT NOW!" I turn around and in walks Charley Boorman himself, carrying a box of merchandise. "Oh! Hi!" I said to him, he smiled and said hello back and then Sandy and I walked out of the theatre and just started laughing. We thought we played it pretty cool for being ambushed like that by Charley, and we decided to not be creepers and hang around the theatre and instead go to the bookstore that was open near by.

Sandy and I had both brought copies of books Charley had written to get signed, but they had all gotten damp because of the horrendous weather conditions and being inside our bags that were absolutely soaked on the outside. So we went to the bookstore with the intent of buying books for Charley to sign. Unfortunately for me, the last time Sandy and I went book shopping together, I found a 1967 edition of "A Bear Called Paddington" by Michael Bond. Sandy was really mad that I found it before she did (especially because it was only £1.25). When we were in the bookshop, Sandy found the illustrated version of "Long Way Down", the story that first drew me to Charley and his adventures. I had been wanting that for a long time but have never found one and I said in vain, "IS THERE ANOTHER ONE?!?!?" Unfortunately there wasn't. And Sandy reminded me that I had Paddington Bear, so it was her turn to get something that we both wanted. I wanted a hardback for him to sign and they only had hardbacks of his newest book, "Right to the Edge: Sydney to Tokyo BY ANY MEANS". I was a little bummed because a.) the illustrated version of "Long Way Down" is INCREDIBLE (Christmas present anyone? here's the link. This is also a nice idea.) and Sydney to Tokyo is not as epic as some of his other adventures. For those of you who aren't familiar with Mr. Boorman's previous endeavors, they include "Long Way Round" where he and Ewan McGregor rode their motorbikes from London to New York through Europe, Russia and Canada, "Long Way Down" where he and Ewan rode their motorbikes again this time from the top of Scotland to the toe of Africa, and "By Any Means" where he used any means of transport to get from Ireland to Australia through Europe, Central / South Asia, the Middle East and South East Asia / SE Asian islands. So Sydney to Tokyo is literally nothing on Boorman standards. But, the book was mislabeled as half price so I only paid £9 for it as opposed to £18.

When we got back to the theatre, I saw that they were selling hardback copies of all Charley's books. As I had a bad paperback copy of "Long Way Round" and that was the original journey that started it all, I decided to get that for him to sign. The set up for the show was really cool. Charley had his "Race to Dakar" bike and the bike he used on "Long Way Round" on stage. There was a couch and a computer chair with a computer terminal on stage which led us to believe that Charley and Si Pavey, 7-time Dakar racer who was also speaking, would be on the couch moderated by someone in the chair who would play clips from the shows. (We were right).

The set up with the bike Charley rode on Long Way Round.

Anyways, they brought out a local comedian for a few minutes, and then brought out Si Pavey for an interview for a bit, and then Charley came out. We were having a blast, hearing fantastic stories until Billy, who was moderating, said they were going to take a 15-minute intermission and then come back to finish the interview portion and then move into Q&A. Sandy said, "Catie, it's 8:45PM right now. The show started at 7:30, and if they've still got the other half of the show and Q&A we may be cutting it close on the train." So we called Amanda and asked her to look at the train timetables again for us. Good thing, because Sandy and I had both thought there was a train leaving at 10:30PM and at 11:30PM. Turns out the last direct train left at 10:00PM and the 11:30 train would be a six hour ride (I still don't understand how that's possible). We realized that we couldn't stay until the end of the show and we had to leave at 9:30PM. Then came the realization that we would miss the book signing. I had been talking with a guy from BMW Motorbikes in the atrium before the show, and Sandy said, "Well, I don't we go talk to your BMW friend and see if we can get the books backstage for Charley to sign during intermission." So we grabbed our books and headed off. When we were in the atrium, we saw Billy Ward who was moderating the whole show and we both looked at each other and made a B-line for Billy. Sandy went up to him and said, very politely,

"Hi Billy. We're really enjoying the show so far, so thank you very much. Listen, we're American exchange students who are studying at St. Andrews for the semester and we came down here to Glasgow to see the show and hopefully get Charley to sign our books. Unfortunately the last train leaves at 10PM so we can't stay much longer and we were just wondering if there was any way you could get Charley to sign our books."

Billy said, "Sure thing! Give me your books and I'll take them back!" He then began to ask what our names were and said, "You know what, come with me, I'll take you backstage."

Sandy and I looked at each other. WHAT. WE'RE GOING BACKSTAGE TO MEET CHARLEY?!?!?!?! WHAT IS GOING ON?!?!?!? We followed Billy all over the theatre looking for Charley and Billy finally found him and said, "Charley! We've got two lovely American girls here who can't stay but really want to meet you!"

So Charley came over to speak with us. He was such a lovely person. He asked where we were studying how long we'd be in the UK. I told him I took mom and Jim to see Long Way Down before I went to Africa to try to show them that Africa wasn't that bad, which he found hilarious. And we talked about how we're going to Spain and doing a day trip to Morocco for spring break and he said, "Oh! What a wonderful trip you girls will love it! Especially Morocco, you should try to go to Marrakech if you can!" He signed our books for us and spoke a little longer before we had to get back to our seats. We shook hands and he said, "Thank you so much for coming all this way to the show." And we just expressed our gratitude to him for having us. We also thanked Billy and considered offering up relatives to him as he mentioned three times in the earlier bit of the show that he was divorced. How else could we pay him back? Then as we exited the stage area Charley grabbed my shoulder as I walked down the steps. I may not wash that shirt again. Or my right hand for that matter.

We got back to our seats and we were like giddy school children. "What just happened?" I asked Sandy. And she just looked at me and said, "This is our lives, Catie. THIS is our lives." It was hard to contain our excitement, but out of deference to the people around us who didn't get backstage to have a personal meet and greet with Charley, we contained ourselves. They showed some footage from the Dakar at which point we left to catch the train. I was jumping up and down and clicking my heels all the way back to the station. I had just met Charley Boorman, one of my favorite authors / adventurers. And he was one of the kindest people I've ever met. If the rest of my time here is awful, it will be okay, because I met Charley and he was everything I'd hoped he'd be and more.

Sandy's book signed by Charley. It says "To Sandy - Thanks for coming. All the Best. Charley"

Me and my book! It says, "To Catie - Thank you for coming. Be good. Charley"

BUT OUR STORY DOESN'T END HERE.

Oh no, there's more.

Sandy and I got on the train high as kites and headed back to Haymarket. We then caught the last train from Haymarket to Leuchars. Now, this train left at 11:13PM, and the last bus to St. Andrews left Leuchars at 12:03AM. As it only took us 30 minutes to get from Leuchars to Haymarket last time, we thought we'd be good. But we forgot we'd taken the express train, and this train made multiple (and unnecessary in my opinion) stops along the way. As we went on, we came to the realization that we would miss the bus. Not a problem. We could take a taxi. On our train was a man who was, well, BEYOND inebriated. He had his headphones on so loud that not only could I hear them from three rows ahead, I knew what song was playing. But that wasn't the best part. He felt compelled to sign, in a loud, drunk manner, the words to certain songs, one of which being "Take A Bow" by Muse. Now, I love Muse. They're in my top 20 bands (U2 occupies the first 10 slots). But this is one of my least favorite songs of theirs, mainly because of the chorus line that says "You will burn in hell for your sins." It's just a weird song. So, the plastered guy is singing as loud as he can "YOU WILL BURN IN HELL FOR YOUR SINS." And Sandy and I couldn't stop laughing. Because it was just so strange. And I kept telling Sandy, "If he sings Starlight (the next track on the CD) or Supermassive Blackhole (follow Starlight), I may lose it." Fortunately, he didn't. "Starlight" has been saved for the masses. I've posted "Starlight" below to redeem them for the lyrics to "Take A Bow". They're really good!

BUT WE'RE STILL NOT DONE.

Sandy and I got in the cab and "Somebody to Love" by Queen was on the radio. This song was recently used in a TV show Sandy and I love called "Glee" about a high school glee club. We were talking about how great the Glee version of the song was and how the girl who plays Mercedes blew Freddy Mercury out of the waters on vocals. And just as "Somebody to Love" ended, "Don't Stop Believing" sung by the cast of Glee came on the radio. "Epic end to an epic day." I said. And we sang along, probably annoying the cab driver all the way back to Market Street.

Glee's version of "Don't Stop Believing". I think Charley would like this! And what a way to cap off the day!

And it was an epic day. All that I've told you is complete fact, none of it fiction, and it only happened because Sandy and I were traveling together. We're going to London next weekend and Spain/Morocco together for spring break. I can't wait. Because if it's anything like our day trip, I may have more stories that you may not believe when I tell you.

We're contemplating writing a book ...

Frustration Causes Accidents and Other Life Lessons from Uncle Fergie

Part II of our weekend under the care of Uncle Fergie.

I must preface this by saying that I almost missed the bus to Loch Ness this morning, which I would've just kicked myself in the rear for from now to eternity. I was supposed to be on the bus before 8:30AM. I woke up at 8:26AM ... it takes 15 minutes to walk to town on a normal day. You do the math. Fortunately I have wonderful friends who convinced Uncle Fergie to wait for me and I sprinted all the way to the Union. Fortunately, I was not the last one on. That honor falls to Spencer.

Anyway, we got back on the bus, quickly stopped in Dunkeld again, mainly because there's a nice public restroom there, and then headed north in a straight shot towards the West Coast of Scotland. Uncle Fergie also made a point to mention that he had downloaded the entire back catalogue of Paris Hilton just for us. He is a riot. He also had us pass around his iPod and make an "On The Go" playlist with our own selections. Being the passionate lover of music I am, I commandeered the iPod and put on Buddy Holly, Joy Division, Muse, The Police, Ryan Adams, ABBA, Michael Bolton (of course), and U2 (again, of course). I think Uncle Fergie is a U2 fan because when we got to "One Tree Hill", which is what I picked, he turned it up louder than was necessary which made me really happy.

The scenery was absolutely beautiful as there was snow on the mountains but the road was clear all the way to Loch Ness. Uncle Fergie made a point of taking the back roads, which while these roads made some people sick due to the extreme winding and twisting, I absolutely loved it and felt perfectly safe in Uncle Fergie's capable hands.

Making our way through the Highlands.

We stopped over at Loch Laggan for photos and then continued on to the Commando's Monument and the best view of Ben Nevis, the highest mountain in Britain. According to Fergie, on average 23 people die a year trying to summit Ben Nevis. Less people die on Everest. The issue with Ben Nevis is not altitude as it is only 4,409 ft. tall which means the highest mountain in the Appalachians, Grandfather Mountain, has it beat by over 1,500 ft. The issue is simply how far north we are. Because of the location of Ben Nevis, the weather can change in an instant. It can be a perfectly beautiful day and then you become in engulfed in horrendous weather that causes white out. Climbers attempting to make their way back down will get off the path and step out over the ridge of Ben Nevis that borders its sheer cliff face and they'll fall off the mountain. I was thinking of getting out group together to try to climb it because it's not that high until I heard that story. Never mind, I can admire it from afar thank you very much.

Ben Nevis and the Grampian Mountain range.

Our group with a commandeered saltire (another name for the Scottish flag) and Ben Nevis in the background. From left: Merrill, Sandy, Spencer, Me, Jon.

We then turned northeast and headed along the Great Glen fault line which effectively splits Scotland in two. Along this fault line is Loch Lochy (which literally means Lake Lakey ... there must have been whiskey present when that lake was named), Loch Oich and finally Loch Ness, following the Caledonian canal that connects Inverness on the East Coast to the West Coast and the Irish Sea. This is truly one of the most beautiful places I've ever seen, and just driving through was a pleasure. While Merrill was upset because it wasn't grey, foggy, overcast and mysterious because that's the general mental image everyone has of Loch Ness, she wasn't upset for too long because we got some of the most gorgeous weather we've had so far. Absolutely clear, blue skies and bright sun to keep us warm up in a latitude that is on the same level as the Hudson Bay in Canada.

We spent a few minutes in Ft. August which is at the southernmost point of the Loch. This is the point when we changed buses twice because there was a warning light coming on in our 'Wild and Sexy' bus and Uncle Fergie was concerned for our safety. Upon boarding our replacement bus, he realized the door wouldn't close. So then we commandeered another tour's bus and Uncle Fergie drove like a madman along the road that borders the Loch trying to get us to our boat on time. We barely made it, but we made it, and I think Uncle Fergie was relieved to get us off the bus. We cruised around the Loch and heard stories about the monster, stopping briefly by Urquhart Castle which sits on the Loch. Loch Ness is one of the deepest lakes in Britain and in a matter of 5 minutes from leaving port the depth of the loch was around 900 ft. It's a quick drop. It is the only Loch that did not fully freeze during the Ice Age and it is believed it would take a 200,000 year Ice Age to freeze the loch entirely. In fact, scientists calculated that if every bottle of water in Britain, the water from every toilet in Britain, the water to fill a bath in Britain, and all the water contained in Britain's rivers was dumped into the Loch, it would only fill it 1/5 of the way. Scientists also calculated that if you were to pour out the lake over the British Isles (including Ireland), it would cover the whole group of islands with 32 centimeters of water. That's over a foot of water over 121,673 square miles. This thing is massive. Despite all those fun facts, Loch Ness is pretty much a tourist trap, but it was really beautiful and we all enjoyed our small boat cruise.

Standing effectively in Loch Ness.

Urquhart Caste sitting on the Loch. Movie trivia: that Ted Danson movie "Loch Ness" was filmed partly at Urquhart Castle.

Our group picture from Loch Ness has a rando (someone we don't know) in the middle of our picture. So I'm not going to post it here because it's just weird. We should've stuck her on the end so we could've cropped her out.

After our journey around Loch Ness, we drove through Inverness, the most northerly populous city in Scotland and then turned south, driving through the Cairngorm Mountains towards Pitlochry, a favorite holiday spot for Queen Victoria, although it wasn't that great. It's not even worth posting the one picture I have of Pitlochry here.

Cairngorm Mountains at sunset. Didn't get many pictures as I fell asleep on this leg of our journey.

We did pass the home of the Duke of Atholl on our way to Pitlochry. The Duke is the richest man in Britain; worth £5 billion, Uncle Fergie also mentioend he's 27 and single. Sandy, Merrill and I attempted to get Fergie to make at pit stop at Blair Castle where he lives but unfortunately Uncle Fergie pointed out that the Duke's Standard wasn't raised, therefore he wasn't home. Sandy was going to attempt to shake the Duke's hand because according to legend, if you see 7 white horses in one day, the person you shake hands with is your soul mate. Sandy had seen 7 white horses and now just needed to shake the Duke's hand to seal the deal. No such luck this time around.

On our way back, Uncle Fergie completed his Scottish history lesson by telling us the story of Scotland's greatest king:

"ROBERT THE BRUCE!!!!"

Said in a way only Uncle Fergie say it.

Robert the Bruce was the first king of a united Scotland. Until then, the clans had maintained their own kingdoms and rarely united until William Wallace came around. Robert never really figured out whether he wanted to be Scottish or English as he often switched his allegiances between Wallace and Edward I/II, much like he did in the movie. However, he eventually picked Scotland and met the English army at the fields of Bannockburn with the largest army ever assembled by the Scots, consisting of 6,000 men. Unfortunately, Edward brought his army was well, which historians believe had 15,000 foot soldiers, cavalry men and archers. So the Scots looked across Bannockburn and couldn't help but feel depressed. They half-heartedly chanted Robert, but none of them really wanted to be there. So Robert, in truly Scottish fashion, throws down his sword and tosses his shield. He dismounts his horse marches to the middle of the field pulling his horse behind him and calls out to Edward, "Bring me your best fighter." The best fighter was a man named Sir Henry de Bohum. Now, Sir Henry was the grand champion of man to man combat, and had been for over 10 years. The Scots thought, "This is it. That eejit Robert has done it now." Sir Henry begins to charge Robert with his lance a top his giant horse, and Robert just stands there. He stands there and stands there, and finally mounts his horse just as Sir Henry's lance is reaching his position. The 6'2" Robert stood up in the stirrups, grabbed his trusty wooden axe and came down on Sir Henry's head as hard as he could. Well, he did an effective job, because the wooden axe cracked open Sir Henry's head and the "blade" lodged itself in Sir Henry. The Scots went mad, cheering "ROBERT! ROBERT! ROBERT! ROBERT!" They're leader had just defeated the greatest fighter in all of England. When Robert returned to his lines, one of his men noticed that he looked a little peeved, he asked Robert what was wrong, and Robert said, "That was my favorite axe and now the blade is stuck in Sir Henry's head." Without a moment's hesitation, the young soldier ran out to where Sir Henry lay (dead as a doornail by this time), reached into his head and retrieved the blade for his leader. Edward, so disgusted with Robert's display, sent his cavalry, the strongest division of the English army towards the Scots. Robert had the Scots wait for what seemed like an eternity. That is until the horses started falling into the ground before the Scots. The privilege of fighting on home turf allowed Robert to pick the battle side and he chose Bannockburn as the meeting place. Then he and his mates secretly dug holes throughout the field and covered them to match the landscape so that when the cavalry inevitably charged, they were stopped. At the end of the battle, 1,000 Scots lay dead on the fields. Edward lost an estimate 12,000 men. It was such a decisive victory, that Britain didn't invade Scotland for another 400 years. They truly did fight, as describe in the movie "Braveheart", "like warrior poets."

Alright, that's enough history as told by Uncle Fergie. We had a fabulous two days trekking all over Scotland and Uncle Fergie just made the trip truly magical for us all. We've all named our photo albums on Facebook in a way that pays homage to Uncle Fergie. He is truly a Scottish legend and we miss him already.

Our group and dear old Uncle Fergie. From left: The new Haggis bus that said "Legendary" on the side, Merrill, Uncle Fergie, Me, Spencer, Sandy and Jon.

Tomorrow Sandy and I head to Glasgow to (hopefully) meet Charley Boorman, Ewan McGregor's partner on both Long Way Round and Long Way Down, as well as solo traveler on By Any Means and the Race to Dakar. We're BEYOND excited. If you don't know who I'm talking about here's a little taste. Charley is the furrier one that wasn't in Star Wars, Moulin Rouge, Trainspotting, and other such classic films.

Want to see even more photos from the weekend? Click this link and you can view my photos on Facebook without a Facebook account.

A journey through the mists of time with Uncle Fergie

This past weekend myself, Sandy, Merrill, Jon and Spencer went on day tours of both the Highlands and Loch Ness. I'm going to break this up into two posts so that I don't get my facts confused with one another.

On Saturday we all got on the 'Wild and Sexy' bus with our Haggis Adventures guide Fergie. We knew it was going to be a great two days when the first few sentences out of his mouth included, "You can call me Uncle Fergie." and, "Just for you guys, I've downloaded the entire back catalogue of Britney Spears. And for those of you who aren't Britney fans, I paid 74-pence to make sure I had some Michael Bolton as well." Words cannot begin to describe Uncle Fergie, but he was absolutely hilarious throughout the entire day, recalling stories of Scottish history which have led us to believe that Scotland is what it is today because of gruesome murders, heroic battles, and a long and proud line of illegitimate children. Thanks Uncle Fergie. Note: we're fairly certain Fergie is short for Fergus or Ferguson; will keep you posted!

Proof that we really were on the 'Wild and Sexy' bus. I couldn't make that up if I wanted to.

Leaving St. Andrews we headed to Dunkeld Cathedral, what was once the center of Christianity in Scotland. Although that is not necessarily what it is famous for. Two very important people are buried at Dunkeld, the first being Alexander, 'The Wolf of Badenoch' Stewart. The Wolf was an illegitimate son of Robert the Bruce, 'Scotland's greatest king' ... or at least Fergie thinks so. Like his father, he had a penchant for fathering illegitimate children (it's believed he did this anywhere between 400-600 times) and he also was fond of burning down churches. One day two women came to The Wolf's castle and held up their infant children asking for child support. The Wolf looked at them and said "They're not mine." The women insisted so Wolf asked if he could get a closer look at both of them. With one baby in one hand and one in the other, he said, "Oh yeah, they are mine." Then promptly smashed them together killing both infants instantly. We then mounted each on a stake and used them to decorate the walls of his castle warning anyone who came hunting for child support again. Towards the end of his life, The Wolf felt bad and was a wee bit concerned he hadn't secured his spot in heaven. So he befriended some bishops and paid them off to secure his place in heaven. When Wolf died, he was taken to a church a buried in its graveyard. Three days later, the church mysteriously caught on fire and burned to the ground. Thinking it a weird coincidence, Wolf was moved to another church. Three days later, that church burned down. His rotting body traveled around Scotland, searching for a home as no church was willing to take him in. Eventually they had to build a sarcophagus to carry his oozing, smelling body around. It fell off the wagon several times which is why there are cracks in it. They take it to another church that had heard about the fires so they decided to take him in with a plan to beat the fires. For six months priests were constantly in the church, praying for its safety. But after six months, they grew tired of this and decided that it wasn't necessary to do this anymore. Three days later, that church burned to the ground. The only reason his final resting place, Dunkeld, hasn't followed suit is because the church ends each Sunday service / wedding / event in the church with a prayer to God to protect Dunkeld from fire and the The Wolf's curse.

But that's not all who is buried here. Bonnie Prince Charlie was the son of the exiled king, who's name was James I believe (it's generally an accurate guess as everyone here is named James). On his father's deathbed, Bonnie Prince Charlie promised to reclaim the throne of Scotland, which is difficult to do as Bonnie Prince Charlie was fluent in Italian and Polish, and didn't know the tongue of the country he was trying to take back. Good job mom and dad. And in good Scottish tradition, Bonnie Prince Charlie fathered a few illegitimate children himself, one of them now buried at Dunkeld. People used to pray in front of the gravestone which was once mounted on the wall until one day two people praying before it were killed when the stone fell off the wall. How can you not love Scottish history?

The cathedral at Dunkeld is really a beautiful church, and is situated on the River Tay, which is Scotland's most sought after fishing spot. According to local history, which from henceforth will be referred to as legend, because that's generally what it ends up becoming, the largest fish ever caught on the River was 64-lbs. and was caught by a woman. Because of this and the belief that fish are more attracted to the smell released by women, you can buy "scent of woman" to add to your bait in Dunkeld's tackle shops. Don't come rushing over to go fishing though. According to Fergie, it costs up to £1,000 a day ($1,545) to fish here. I was hoping I'd see Brad Pitt, Tom Skerritt, and Tim Robbins out here, but no such luck.

The cathedral at Dunkeld.

Our group on the banks of the River Tay.

From Dunkeld, we turned north to Hermitage, one of the most famous natural waterfalls in Scotland. Uncle Fergie took us on a "wee walk through the woods" to the River Braan, which according to legend is where the dog of Irish hero, Finn McCool, relieves himself, creating a layer of froth on top of the river. This waterfall is particularly cool as you can't see it until you enter a small house that has a balcony that hangs out for the best view of the falls. This is one of the most beautiful places I've seen thus far in Scotland and it really was a privilege to be there.

Me at Hermitage.

The beautiful waterfalls at Hermitage.

Following our visit to Hemritage we continued on to Glenturret, site of Scotland's oldest whiskey distillery and the home of The Famous Grouse Experience. We went on a tour of the distillery and learned about how Famous Grouse makes their whiskey, and then followed it with a tasting session. The verdict: it's very strong (obviously because it's whiskey) but aside from the residual burn I enjoyed the Grouse. The tour itself was really interesting as I've never been on a distillery tour before, so seeing the process of how they make the whiskey was really interesting. The added bonus is that because Glenturret is the oldest distillery in Scotland, its possible that it's the oldest distillery in the world.

Me, Sandy, Merrill and The Famous Grouse.

We continued on our journey after this, traveling to Loch Tay, which is the site of a hotel that is soon opening that will be the second 7-star hotel in the world, which, if I remember correctly, will charge £14,000 a night. "And that doesn't include breakfast", or at least that's what Uncle Fergie told us. The Loch itself is really beautiful and is a major center for water sports in Scotland during the summer months.

Me on Loch Tay.

Back on the bus and onward to the Falls of Dochart, with Uncle Fergie at the story-telling wheel. On the way to the Falls and the town of Killin ('Kil' meaning church and 'Lin' meaning forrest, so basically 'church in the forrest/woods' is the name of the town. These Scots are really original) that is situated right on its shores. According to Fergie, following the death of Prince Albert, Queen Victoria was depressed to the point of committing suicide. So she was packed up and sent up to Balmoral Estate in Scotland to cheer her up. For 18 long months she sat inside and mourned the loss of Albert. One of the groundskeepers hated seeing the Queen so sad, so he saddled up her favorite Highland pony and waited outside her window everyday. He did this for a while and she was getting annoyed so she kept telling him to go away but he never did. Finally, the Queen went out and asked him "What do you want?" And he simply said, "I want to take you out on your horse." She reluctantly did it and they went out for 45 minutes and returned. The next day he came back and she pretended to be annoyed but went along anyway. Pretty soon Queen Victoria was making a lunch of sausage rolls and sandwiches and making a day of it. But rumors began to spread about her and the groundskeeper ... so she was shipped back to London, but then people began to wonder why she was back so soon. The answer? "The beautiful Highland scenery and the Falls of Dochart have cured her broken heart." And possibly the groundskeeper.

The Falls of Dochart.

Following our visit to the Falls we began to make our way back to St. Andrews with Uncle Fergie telling us the story of ...

"WILLIAM WALLACE."

There's no way to convey how he said that through written word. But it was hilarious. Fergie is actually a fan of the movie Braveheart so what he did was point out where the movie was wrong and add in the real history. According to Fergs, William Wallace was from the low-country, so he would never have worn a kilt, which is a highland thing to do. In 1297, he united the clans to defeat the English at 1297 at the Battle of Stirling Bridge by recognizing a weak point in the British defenses and attacking its world-class cavalry in the middle of a bog. It was a decisive victory and Wallace was made a hero / legend. Wallace did have a girlfriend, who's name was Marion (which is where Maid Marion from the legend of Robin Hood came from, therefore, William Wallace = Robin Hood minus the stealing from the rich to give to the poor part). And Marion (or Murron as she was known in the film) was killed by the Sherriff of Lanark to evoke a response from Wallace. Wallace knew it was a trap and waited six weeks to launch an attack on the Sherriff. And he didn't exactly kill him like he did in the movie either. This is where this post gets REALLY gruesome so if you can't stomach it I'd stop now and skip to the next paragraph. Wallace skinned the Sherriff alive and then proceeded to salt his freshly peeled skin. He then used the Sherriff's stomach as a satchel, and used part of his skin (a hairy part apparently) to cover the handle of his sword so his hand could stay warm in winter. As far as Wallace and the Princess of Wales being in love and him fathering Edward III, that is highly unlikely as the Princess of Wales didn't have a child until 7 years after the death of Wallace. So bump that story. Wallace was eventually captured by the son of Edward the Longshanks, Edward II (the wimp in the movie). Edward II brought him to London to make an example of him. He was, just as Mel Gibson was in the movie, given the opportunity to swear allegiance to Edward and be subjected to a swift death. No such luck with Wallace. And like the movie, he was hanged and stretched (although he was stretched until the sinews in his shoulders snapped one by one and his arms and legs came out of their sockets. He was then cut open from breast bone to pubic bone and he was disemboweled in a long-drawn out process and his organs were tossed into the crowd as souvenirs. Note: he's still alive at this point. Wallace's, well, for lack of a better word, scrotum, was then sliced in half using a rough knife and then sliced off and shoved into his mouth so obviously, he didn't yell "FREEDOM!!!!!!". After all of that was he then finally beheaded. And just like Robert the Bruce narrated in the film, "William Wallace's body was torn to pieces. His head was set on London Bridge. His arms and legs sent to the four corners of Britain as a warning." All of this happened. Except, and this is cool, according to legend, when William's arm arrived at Stirling, the priests there took it to give it a proper burial. When preparing the arm, the hand, as if on its own, flopped over with one finger pointed towards Stirling which is where he won the Battle of Stirling bridge, his first victory over the English. Scots took this as a sign that they should continue their fight for freedom and did so under Robert the Bruce. As gross as this all is, you have to admit, Scottish history is pretty awesome. Especially when Uncle Fergie is telling it.

Well, that's enough Braveheart and travel for this post. I'll do another post later talking about our trip to Loch Ness. Brace yourself for the imminent return of Uncle Fergie!

This week on the calendar ...

I kind of like doing this, so I'll try to remember to post a "this week on the calendar" every week:

- "Lecture on Democracy and Terrorism"

- "Swim Practice"

- "Silent Rave"

- "The General"

- "Debate Soc"

- "Jungle Bop"

- "Highlands Tour"

- "Loch Ness Tour"

Oh did I mention I'm going to the Highlands and Loch Ness this weekend? Must've slipped my mind ... :D

The Old Course and Indulging My Inner Movie Buff

Today I got a text from Sandy asking if I wanted to walk around the Old Golf Course today. Why not? You can literally walk onto the course that hosts the British Open every year and its not a big deal. We walked past grounds keepers who smiled and waved at us knowing full well we weren't there to golf. The Old (and New) Course has one of the best view points of town from anywhere in my opinion and it was great to just get outside when last week it was so dreary. The past two days have been absolutely lovely ... well, mainly overcast, but there were traces of sun visible, which makes for a lovely day here! The Old Course is really beautiful, but is also spectacularly difficult. I intend to play it when the weather gets warmer just for the sake of saying I've done it, but right now it's still too chilly to do a full 18 holes. So for all you golf enthusiasts out there, enjoy the following photos! Note: unfortunately Sandy has all the pictures of me on the course on her camera so once I get them I'll post them.

This is a photo of the old club house, where your golfing journey begins.

Sign directing you which way to go for particular courses.

This is the Old Course Hotel and Spa where I assume most of the pro golfers stay when they come in for the Open. It's also where St. Regulus (my hall, which will be referred to as "Regs" from hence forth) is holding its spring ball. Yeah. We're sophisticated and proud of it. Also, a note to Troy Hedspeth specifically: you see that thing in the bottom right corner? That's a sand trap. You are correct in assuming that it's basically a hole with sand at the bottom.

It's a gorgeous golf course.

After being on the course for a while, Sandy and I cut over West Sands Beach which lies on the other side of town, but still borders the North Sea. Hard to explain physical location without a map. Below are pictures of West Sands.

The stunning West Sands Beach. Tides are really dramatic here, so if I were standing in this spot at high tide, I'd probably be at least calf deep in water, maybe even up to the top of my leg.

So for those of you who are movie buffs, you may recognize this beach / scene behind me. Need a reminder? Here you go:

Yes, this is the beach where they filmed the opening and closing scenes from the 1981 classic film "Chariots of Fire". Plans are already in the works to re-enact this scene. We will be going to the local thrift stores to buy the appropriate apparel to remain absolutely true to the scene.

I apologize to my mom, Jim, and grandparents for this one, but it's the token "Let's see how close to the edge I can get" photo! Don't worry, this particular section of the cliffs has a ledge about 5 feet below the bottom of the sidewalk, so it isn't a true sheer drop. Further up The Scores is a different story though ...

And one more shot of West Sands to provide proof beyond doubt that yes, the infamous running scene was indeed filmed here. Elon study abroad version to be created soon.