Part II of our weekend under the care of Uncle Fergie.
I must preface this by saying that I almost missed the bus to Loch Ness this morning, which I would've just kicked myself in the rear for from now to eternity. I was supposed to be on the bus before 8:30AM. I woke up at 8:26AM ... it takes 15 minutes to walk to town on a normal day. You do the math. Fortunately I have wonderful friends who convinced Uncle Fergie to wait for me and I sprinted all the way to the Union. Fortunately, I was not the last one on. That honor falls to Spencer.
Anyway, we got back on the bus, quickly stopped in Dunkeld again, mainly because there's a nice public restroom there, and then headed north in a straight shot towards the West Coast of Scotland. Uncle Fergie also made a point to mention that he had downloaded the entire back catalogue of Paris Hilton just for us. He is a riot. He also had us pass around his iPod and make an "On The Go" playlist with our own selections. Being the passionate lover of music I am, I commandeered the iPod and put on Buddy Holly, Joy Division, Muse, The Police, Ryan Adams, ABBA, Michael Bolton (of course), and U2 (again, of course). I think Uncle Fergie is a U2 fan because when we got to "One Tree Hill", which is what I picked, he turned it up louder than was necessary which made me really happy.
The scenery was absolutely beautiful as there was snow on the mountains but the road was clear all the way to Loch Ness. Uncle Fergie made a point of taking the back roads, which while these roads made some people sick due to the extreme winding and twisting, I absolutely loved it and felt perfectly safe in Uncle Fergie's capable hands.
Making our way through the Highlands.
We stopped over at Loch Laggan for photos and then continued on to the Commando's Monument and the best view of Ben Nevis, the highest mountain in Britain. According to Fergie, on average 23 people die a year trying to summit Ben Nevis. Less people die on Everest. The issue with Ben Nevis is not altitude as it is only 4,409 ft. tall which means the highest mountain in the Appalachians, Grandfather Mountain, has it beat by over 1,500 ft. The issue is simply how far north we are. Because of the location of Ben Nevis, the weather can change in an instant. It can be a perfectly beautiful day and then you become in engulfed in horrendous weather that causes white out. Climbers attempting to make their way back down will get off the path and step out over the ridge of Ben Nevis that borders its sheer cliff face and they'll fall off the mountain. I was thinking of getting out group together to try to climb it because it's not that high until I heard that story. Never mind, I can admire it from afar thank you very much.
Ben Nevis and the Grampian Mountain range.
Our group with a commandeered saltire (another name for the Scottish flag) and Ben Nevis in the background. From left: Merrill, Sandy, Spencer, Me, Jon.
We then turned northeast and headed along the Great Glen fault line which effectively splits Scotland in two. Along this fault line is Loch Lochy (which literally means Lake Lakey ... there must have been whiskey present when that lake was named), Loch Oich and finally Loch Ness, following the Caledonian canal that connects Inverness on the East Coast to the West Coast and the Irish Sea. This is truly one of the most beautiful places I've ever seen, and just driving through was a pleasure. While Merrill was upset because it wasn't grey, foggy, overcast and mysterious because that's the general mental image everyone has of Loch Ness, she wasn't upset for too long because we got some of the most gorgeous weather we've had so far. Absolutely clear, blue skies and bright sun to keep us warm up in a latitude that is on the same level as the Hudson Bay in Canada.
We spent a few minutes in Ft. August which is at the southernmost point of the Loch. This is the point when we changed buses twice because there was a warning light coming on in our 'Wild and Sexy' bus and Uncle Fergie was concerned for our safety. Upon boarding our replacement bus, he realized the door wouldn't close. So then we commandeered another tour's bus and Uncle Fergie drove like a madman along the road that borders the Loch trying to get us to our boat on time. We barely made it, but we made it, and I think Uncle Fergie was relieved to get us off the bus. We cruised around the Loch and heard stories about the monster, stopping briefly by Urquhart Castle which sits on the Loch. Loch Ness is one of the deepest lakes in Britain and in a matter of 5 minutes from leaving port the depth of the loch was around 900 ft. It's a quick drop. It is the only Loch that did not fully freeze during the Ice Age and it is believed it would take a 200,000 year Ice Age to freeze the loch entirely. In fact, scientists calculated that if every bottle of water in Britain, the water from every toilet in Britain, the water to fill a bath in Britain, and all the water contained in Britain's rivers was dumped into the Loch, it would only fill it 1/5 of the way. Scientists also calculated that if you were to pour out the lake over the British Isles (including Ireland), it would cover the whole group of islands with 32 centimeters of water. That's over a foot of water over 121,673 square miles. This thing is massive. Despite all those fun facts, Loch Ness is pretty much a tourist trap, but it was really beautiful and we all enjoyed our small boat cruise.
Standing effectively in Loch Ness.
Urquhart Caste sitting on the Loch. Movie trivia: that Ted Danson movie "Loch Ness" was filmed partly at Urquhart Castle.
Our group picture from Loch Ness has a rando (someone we don't know) in the middle of our picture. So I'm not going to post it here because it's just weird. We should've stuck her on the end so we could've cropped her out.
After our journey around Loch Ness, we drove through Inverness, the most northerly populous city in Scotland and then turned south, driving through the Cairngorm Mountains towards Pitlochry, a favorite holiday spot for Queen Victoria, although it wasn't that great. It's not even worth posting the one picture I have of Pitlochry here.
Cairngorm Mountains at sunset. Didn't get many pictures as I fell asleep on this leg of our journey.
We did pass the home of the Duke of Atholl on our way to Pitlochry. The Duke is the richest man in Britain; worth £5 billion, Uncle Fergie also mentioend he's 27 and single. Sandy, Merrill and I attempted to get Fergie to make at pit stop at Blair Castle where he lives but unfortunately Uncle Fergie pointed out that the Duke's Standard wasn't raised, therefore he wasn't home. Sandy was going to attempt to shake the Duke's hand because according to legend, if you see 7 white horses in one day, the person you shake hands with is your soul mate. Sandy had seen 7 white horses and now just needed to shake the Duke's hand to seal the deal. No such luck this time around.
On our way back, Uncle Fergie completed his Scottish history lesson by telling us the story of Scotland's greatest king:
"ROBERT THE BRUCE!!!!"
Said in a way only Uncle Fergie say it.
Robert the Bruce was the first king of a united Scotland. Until then, the clans had maintained their own kingdoms and rarely united until William Wallace came around. Robert never really figured out whether he wanted to be Scottish or English as he often switched his allegiances between Wallace and Edward I/II, much like he did in the movie. However, he eventually picked Scotland and met the English army at the fields of Bannockburn with the largest army ever assembled by the Scots, consisting of 6,000 men. Unfortunately, Edward brought his army was well, which historians believe had 15,000 foot soldiers, cavalry men and archers. So the Scots looked across Bannockburn and couldn't help but feel depressed. They half-heartedly chanted Robert, but none of them really wanted to be there. So Robert, in truly Scottish fashion, throws down his sword and tosses his shield. He dismounts his horse marches to the middle of the field pulling his horse behind him and calls out to Edward, "Bring me your best fighter." The best fighter was a man named Sir Henry de Bohum. Now, Sir Henry was the grand champion of man to man combat, and had been for over 10 years. The Scots thought, "This is it. That eejit Robert has done it now." Sir Henry begins to charge Robert with his lance a top his giant horse, and Robert just stands there. He stands there and stands there, and finally mounts his horse just as Sir Henry's lance is reaching his position. The 6'2" Robert stood up in the stirrups, grabbed his trusty wooden axe and came down on Sir Henry's head as hard as he could. Well, he did an effective job, because the wooden axe cracked open Sir Henry's head and the "blade" lodged itself in Sir Henry. The Scots went mad, cheering "ROBERT! ROBERT! ROBERT! ROBERT!" They're leader had just defeated the greatest fighter in all of England. When Robert returned to his lines, one of his men noticed that he looked a little peeved, he asked Robert what was wrong, and Robert said, "That was my favorite axe and now the blade is stuck in Sir Henry's head." Without a moment's hesitation, the young soldier ran out to where Sir Henry lay (dead as a doornail by this time), reached into his head and retrieved the blade for his leader. Edward, so disgusted with Robert's display, sent his cavalry, the strongest division of the English army towards the Scots. Robert had the Scots wait for what seemed like an eternity. That is until the horses started falling into the ground before the Scots. The privilege of fighting on home turf allowed Robert to pick the battle side and he chose Bannockburn as the meeting place. Then he and his mates secretly dug holes throughout the field and covered them to match the landscape so that when the cavalry inevitably charged, they were stopped. At the end of the battle, 1,000 Scots lay dead on the fields. Edward lost an estimate 12,000 men. It was such a decisive victory, that Britain didn't invade Scotland for another 400 years. They truly did fight, as describe in the movie "Braveheart", "like warrior poets."
Alright, that's enough history as told by Uncle Fergie. We had a fabulous two days trekking all over Scotland and Uncle Fergie just made the trip truly magical for us all. We've all named our photo albums on Facebook in a way that pays homage to Uncle Fergie. He is truly a Scottish legend and we miss him already.
Our group and dear old Uncle Fergie. From left: The new Haggis bus that said "Legendary" on the side, Merrill, Uncle Fergie, Me, Spencer, Sandy and Jon.
Tomorrow Sandy and I head to Glasgow to (hopefully) meet Charley Boorman, Ewan McGregor's partner on both Long Way Round and Long Way Down, as well as solo traveler on By Any Means and the Race to Dakar. We're BEYOND excited. If you don't know who I'm talking about here's a little taste. Charley is the furrier one that wasn't in Star Wars, Moulin Rouge, Trainspotting, and other such classic films.
Want to see even more photos from the weekend? Click this link and you can view my photos on Facebook without a Facebook account.
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